Uncle Paul - joke

we have heard lots of jokes before, bt this one is really a nice one. =)


'Hello?'
'Hi, honey.'
'This is Daddy.'
'Is Mommy near the phone?'
'No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.'
After a brief pause, Daddy says,
'But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul.'
'Oh yes, I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy right now.'
A Brief Pause,
'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do.'
'Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs.
And knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy,
"That Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."

'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute..'
A few minutes later, the little girl comes back to the phone.
'I did it, Daddy.'
'And what happened, honey?'


'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser. And now she isn't moving at all!'

'Oh my God! What about your Uncle Paul?'
'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool.
But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead.'
A Long Pause…..
Longer pause…..
Even Longer Pause…..
Then Daddy says, 'Swimming pool? '
'Is this 486-5731?'

A True Malaysian Hero

I learned about this from an email - hey, how could Malaysians not know that a successful Malaysian is interviewed by a famous international TV program? "sigh"..

Please watch this.. TVB made a documentary on CM Lim Guan Eng. It's very interesting that other countries all over the world are taking interest in Penang now under a new political party.

This clip is very inspiring to many, not just in Malaysia but also in other countries.
Hong Kong TV program about Penang – Penang people esp. should watch this!

Also, please distribute this to your friends & other family to watch.
Part 1, 2, 3 >> with English subtitles=========http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HA5HRSlYcYhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dmNwjX9TnGE; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaAvEFRQkqM

This is a must-watch. And don't keep it to yourself - circulate it to your friends. =)

Good metaphor - how to keep a fish fresh?

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the water close to Japan has not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The further the fisher men went, the longer it took to bring the fish. If the return trip took more time, the fish were not fresh. To solve this problem, fish companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go further and stay longer.

However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen fish. And they did not like the taste of frozen fish. The frozen fish brought a lower price. So, fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little thrashing around, they were tired, dull, and lost their fresh-fish taste. The fishing industry faced an impending crisis! But today, they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan . How did they manage?

To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks but with a small shark. The fish are challenged and hence are constantly on the move. The challenge they face keeps them alive and fresh!

Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired and dull? Basically in our lives, sharks are new challenges to keep us active.. If you are steadily conquering challenges, you are happy.

"Your challenges keep you energized. Don't create success and revel in it in a state of inertia. You have the resources, skills and abilities to make a difference. Put a shark in your tank and see how far you can really go..! "

A Daddy Who Loves Me

Today's Truth
"I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters" (2 Corinthians 6:18 NIV).

Friend To Friend

One of my favorite retreat topics is from my book, Dreams of a Woman -- God's Plans for Fulfilling Your Dreams. In this book, I talk about five dreams every little girl has: to have a daddy who loves her, to be a bride, to be a mommy, to be beautiful, and to have a best friend.
In talking to women all across the country, I have seen eyes fill with tears when I talk about the dream of having a daddy who loves me, but the tears are not for me. They reveal the longing in their own hearts.

Butterfly Kisses (haaa… this is one of my favourite song! Loved its lyrics!), a song by Bob Carlisle that climbed the charts in 2000, received international recognition in both the Christian and secular music industries. The song was about the tender love between a father and his daughter, starting from her birth to her wedding day. Mr. Carlisle said, "I get a lot of mail from young girls who try to get me to marry their moms. That used to be a real chuckle because it's so cute, but then I realized they didn't want romance for mom. They want the father that is in that song, and that just kills me."

In the Old Testament, God has many names. He is Elohim -- the Creator, El Elyon -- God Most High, El Roi -- the God who sees, El Shaddai -- the All-Sufficient One, Adonai -- the Lord, Jehovah -- the Self-Existent One, Jehovah-Jireh --the Lord Will Provide, Jehovah -- Rapha -- the Lord that heals, Jehovah--Shalom -- the Lord is peace, Jehovah-Raah -- the Lord my Shepherd, and many more. His covenant name with the people of Israel was I AM. J.I. Packer, in his book, Knowing God, said, "He is: and it is because He is what He is that everything else is as it is."

In the New Testament, Jesus introduced a new name for God -- Father. It is the name that Jesus referred to more than any other and the name that He invites us to use to address the Creator of the Universe. Just stop and think about that for a moment. The God of the universe who created the heavens and the earth, who always has been and always will be, who is all knowing, all powerful, and present everywhere at once -- that same God invites you to call Him Daddy!

When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray, He said:
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. This, then, is how you should pray:
'Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name....' (Matthews 6:6-9 NIV).

Packer went on to say: "For everything that Christ taught, everything that makes the New Testament new and better than the Old, everything that is distinctly Christian as opposed to merely Jewish, is summed up in the knowledge of the fatherhood of God." All other religions demand followers to worship created beings (Mohammad, Buddha), but Jehovah the Creator, the great I AM, invites us to crawl up in His lap, become His child, and call Him Abba, Daddy. He said, "I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters" (2 Corinthians 6:18NIV).
This Father's Day, no matter what your situation may be with your earthly dad, always remember that you have a heavenly Father who loves you dearly and has your name written on the palm of His hand.

Let's Pray
Dear Lord, Thank You for being a father who loves me as His precious child. How amazing to think that the God who created the universe and all it contains, invites me to be His child and call Him Abba, Father. I do not take this invitation lightly, but cherish it with all my heart.

In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

Dog Massacre in China: 30,000 Dead and Counting

You can help us end bloodbaths like this and protect dogs in China from future culls
A death squad pursues a terrified dog.

Please help stop the slaughter.


A massive cull in the Chinese city of Hanzhong has claimed the lives of more than 30,000 dogs - and now we need your help to make sure that it never happens again.

The local government ordered the mass slaughter of all dogs as the result of a few cases of rabies deaths. Dog killing squads are stalking the streets, mercilessly beating dogs to death with sticks and rocks.

Friendly dogs - even healthy family pets - are being slaughtered right in front of their owners. Can you even begin to imagine how you'd feel if that happened to your dog?

IFAW has pleaded with government officials to stop the killing - and now we turn to you.

Please help us stop these cruel and massive slaughters once and for all.

Horrifying scenes of cruelty

Some of the pictures from culls like these are so horrifying that I can't even show them to you. And I hate having to describe this, but I think you need to know the truth about what's happening.

In one series of pictures, several small and fluffy white dogs - you can just tell they're used to snuggling on the laps of their loving owners - are trapped in a makeshift cage. One by one, the dogs are pulled out with a pair of long metal tongs, and brutally beaten with a stick. And then - even though it appears that some of the dogs may still be alive - they're tossed into a pit to be burned.

I can't even imagine the pain and terror these poor dogs endure when the fire is set.

So many dogs will suffer slow and painful deaths...we must stop this cruelty now!

What we're doing and how you can help

We have received so many messages in the past few days from animal lovers like you inside and outside China - pleading with us to step in and stop the slaughters like the one in Hanzhong City.

I assure you, IFAW is working to end these culls:

We've already contacted local authorities in Hanzhong City to urge them to end the slaughter. Now you can help by contacting the Chinese Ambassador in your country.

IFAW is creating an emergency rabies vaccination fund so that we can offer rural communities in China an alternative to mass slaughters like the one in Hanzhong. Please give generously to our emergency rabies vaccination fund.
We're working with the central government to pass animal welfare legislation in China that will ensure the humane treatment of all animals. IFAW has already helped major cities like Beijing establish dog regulations that mandate humane vaccination and population control.

We CAN stop culls like this

We recently joined with concerned animal lovers in China to stop a similar mass slaughter in the city of Heihe by pointing out that the killing of dogs that have rightful owners is a violation of the basic rights of a citizen - owned dogs and cats are considered the "personal property" of Chinese citizens, and should be protected under China's Constitution.

Plus, it has been proven that rabies can be effectively controlled by a well-managed vaccination program. In fact, a humane vaccination and neuter program in Chennai, India, has dramatically reduced rabies cases there by over 95%.

So we must act now to stop the killing! Please click here to contact the Chinese Ambassador in your country to call for an end to mass slaughters like this and to encourage China to pass legislation that protects all animals, including companion animals.

And then please donate what you can today to help us set up an emergency vaccination fund to help cities in China establish rabies prevention programs, help eliminate these mass dog culls once and for all, and to continue our mission to protect animals around the world from cruelty.

The slaughtered dogs of Hanzhong City deserved a better fate. Please help us ensure that dogs in other communities in China are protected from similar mass killings.

Thank you so much for your help,


Fred O'Regan
IFAW President

Disappointments?

i

The Cure for Disappointment

by Max Lucado

Don't ask God to do what you want. Ask God to do what is right.

When God doesn't do what we want, it's not easy. Never has been. Never will be. But faith is the conviction that God knows more than we do about this life and he will get us through it.

Disappointment is cured by revamped expectations.

I like that story about the fellow who went to the pet store in search of a singing parakeet. Seems he was a bachelor and his house was too quiet. The store owner had just the bird for him, so the man bought it. The next day the bachelor came home from work to a house full of music. He went to the cage to feed the bird and noticed for the first time that the parakeet had only one leg.

He felt cheated that he'd been sold a one-legged bird, so he called and complained.

"What do you want," the store owner responded, "a bird who can sing or a bird who can dance?"

Good question for times of disappointment.

From

Let the Journey Begin:

God's Roadmap for New Beginnings

© (J Countryman 2009) Max Lucado

reverse mode ?

Oh Boy, don't i love this!! ;-) Habitat for Humanity - Sharon Jaynes

It was the incompetent and the inexperienced being led by the inept -- the day our Sunday School Class worked on the Habitat for Humanity house for an unsuspecting, extremely grateful Vietnamese family. Among the crew were two dentists, an investment banker, a lawyer, an engineer, two pastors, a receptionist, several homemakers and a marriage counselor. It's always good to have a marriage counselor on hand when a home improvement project is taking place.

The one-thousand square foot, vinyl siding house had already been framed by a team the week before. Today was sheetrock, or drywall day. The site supervisor's name was TA. That's all the information he gave -- just TA. TA became a Christian one Easter when he reluctantly agreed to go to church with his praying wife.

"I never went to church," he told my husband. "I was a mean man who worked seven days a week. But one Sunday I put on a suit and told my wife, 'I'm going to church with you today, but don't ask me to do it again. This is a onetime deal.' But Jesus saved my soul that day and I've been livin' for Him ever since."

That was TA. A country carpenter who had hammered more nails for Jesus than Noah and his son's put together. He grabbed his clipboard and began.

"Does anyone here know anything about dry wall?" he asked.

Jeff reluctantly raised his hand.

"OK, you'll be a team leader." TA checked the list and moved right along.

"But that was thirty years ago when I was in college," Jeff clarified.

"You'll be fine," TA said as he waved his hand. "Like riding a bike."

I could tell you many stories of the day filled with wacky work and lively laughter laced with caring community, but let me share just one.

Palmer was part of the sheetrock team. Like Rambo, he wielded his screw gun and popped those babies in the sheetrock like a hot knife through butter. Piece of cake. After several hours of neck craning, screw popping, dust in your eyes labor, Palmer took a fifteen minute break.

Re-energized, Rambo picked up his machine gun and once again attacked the ceiling. A lot of forgetting can go on in a fifteen minute break and for some reason the screws forgot how they were supposed to spin out of the gun and magically implant flush with the ceiling.

"That's strange," Palmer thought as he examined the screw protruding one inch from the ceiling.
He moved the gun over a couple of inches and tried again. "Maybe I just need to push harder" he mused. With all the force of a trained counselor, Palmer pressed the gun into the ceiling and pulled the trigger. Once again, the screw hung down one inch from the ceiling.

Like a tennis player who examines his racket after missing an easy lob, or an outfielder who stares at his glove after missing a simple fly ball, Palmer looked at the gun in frustration. "Something is definitely wrong with this gun," the mumbled. "I guess I need to push even harder." Palmer set his jaw, clinched the gun, and firmly pressed the screw gun into the ceiling. "I'm a man. I can do this. I'm going to make this work."

After a third attempt, a frustrated Palmer stared at a neatly placed row of three taunting stalactite screws protruding from the ceiling.

About that time, TA bounced through the room and casually commented to Rambo still holding his gun. "Hey Buddy, you might want to take that gun out of reverse."

A flush of embarrassment rose from the tip of Palmer's dusty shoes to the top of his sandy- blond head. He nonchalantly flipped the switch to forward and proceeded to shoot flush screws efficiently and effectively like nothing had ever happened.

Later, Palmer laughingly said, "Sometimes I'm not the brightest person in the world, but I wonder how many rows of protruding screws I would have shot into that ceiling before I stopped and even considered that the problem might be me?"

OK sisters, stop the cameras. Suddenly I saw myself staring up at those protruding screws with my baffled friend. "What's wrong with her," I complain about a friend who's let me down. "What's wrong with him," I complain about my husband who's not acting according to my plan. "What's wrong with them," I mumble about family members who are not living up to my expectations." In frustration, I continue repeating the same ineffective behavior, never stopping to consider the problem might be me.

Whether it's a string of jobs where you're always treated unfairly, a pileup of relationships that seem to repeatedly end poorly, or a series of marriages with spouses who've let you down...could the problem be...dare I say... you? We push harder. Press more firmly. Repeat the same ineffective behavior again and again.

May I quote TA? "Hey Buddy. It might help if you take it out of reverse."

May I translate TA the way I heard it? "Hey Buddy. You are the problem. You've got life in reverse. Turn and go in the opposite direction."

And you know what? That is the definition of repentance. To turn around and go in the opposite direction.

Palmer could have pushed that screw gun into the ceiling until its nose broke through the sheetrock. He could have forced those babies in -- even hammered them flush. Then he could have slathered a coat of sheetrock mud over the holes and applied a nice coat of paint. On the outside, it might have looked like the screws were properly installed. But the truth would come out eventually. The screw threads would have simply cut a hole in the material and the purpose for which they were created lost. There would be no grip of the screw threads into the drywall. No security in the construction. Just a nicely painted ceiling on the verge of collapse.

Oh friend, when it comes to a life that is not working, we can try harder, push harder, and even pound with emotional hammers to try and make it work. With a fresh coat of pretend-- a smiling face, spit-shined kids, and a well marked Bible, we might look OK -- even downright good. But underneath, the construction remains shaky at best.

But when trying harder is replaced with repentance, shaky is replaced by secure. If life isn't working for you, consult with the project manager -- Jesus Christ. Trying harder is not the answer. Pushing with more force won't get the job done well. Repeating the same ineffective behavior will only leave you frustrated. But relying on the power of the Holy Spirit working in us, God's love flowing through us, and Jesus Christ's redeeming grace surrounding us, well, that is the key to building God's ultimate habitat for all humanity.

Let's Pray

Dear Heavenly Father, sometimes I just don't get it. I try harder, but with the same results. I repeat the same ineffective behavior and then wonder why I don't have more victory in my life. Help me to stop trying harder in my own strength, but start depending more on Your power. Show me when I need to turn and go in the opposite direction, and give me the courage to do so.

In Jesus' Name, Amen

I can't stand wordpress.

I don't know what' taking it so long to upload the pages. Even to log in takes a minute. To upload a picture? Takes half an hour, or maybe a day or two.

What's going on? Something must be wrong, otherwise the whole-wide-world would have boycotted wordpress by now.

I'm on the verge of boycotting wordpress now.

Dark vs light - light is better!! -=D

Well, today is a special day – early in the morning I had a very very “dark” client which really turned me off. Later in the evening I received a house call request at Bukit Rahman Putra. On the way there I had a short conversation with God – complaining and pleading with God on the “dark” clients. “How do I handle them? They’re truly mood-spoilers. Help me o Lord…” I cried. I needed some "lights". Desperately.

I reached the Bukit Rahman Putra house. The owners of the dog were a pair of old couple in their 60s or 70s I guess… Never the less, I thank God the dog handling was quite simple – first, somehow, the fierce dog was very playful towards me. Secondly, the owner was so cooperative.

To make things better, they invited me into their house to fill in a form, and while doing so offered me 100plus. Of course, I don’t like cold drinks thus had to turn down the sweet offer. Then the uncle even offered me extra few ringgit for “yum cha”. But of course, I had to turn down the offer also – don’t want to take advantage of them.

When I was leaving, they even walked me out and watched me get into my car. I tried to start the engine… “kelek kelek…” Oops… I tried to think what could have gone wrong. I tried again. “kelek kelek.. kekkkKKK!!!” Oh gosh.. I really couldn’t think. Then the uncle walked out.

“Hey I think your starter rosak dee la…” I thought… battery gone chances is higher. How to check? I didn’t know… Uncle came out and opened the bonnet – yaiks!! The battery top was filled with salt – blue and white salts (wow.. now I remembered chemistry in my secondary school!)

“Waaahsehhh… you young people how do you drive one? Why never cek your car ar?”
“Why lea uncle?” I asked, innocent.
“Look at the battery! Waaa…. Bla bla bla bla…” and he gave me a long lecture on how to maintain the car. I simply grinned. “You wait ar…”

He went into his house, then threw out two wires attached to some pliers-like stuff (he calls that start jumper.. new vocab for me..) then went into his car. I waited outside his house.. a minute… five minutes… 15 minutes… and I got real curious…

“Uncle, what are you doing there ar?”
He turned towards me, “I’m taking out the battery from my car, then only can bring the battery over to your car to start off your car ma…”Wow!! I was so touched! He actually dismantled the battery from his car in order to help me! My heart melted. God.. thank you for sending me this angel.. You’ve “lit up” my “dark” day.

I smiled cheek to cheek. Seems to me that I have to “receive” something from this uncle today. First he offered the 100plus, I turned him down. Then he offered the “yum-cha” money, I turned him down. Now he offered his help, I needed it. =) He’s the angel of my day.

Praise God, finally my car got moving again, and uncle was at his lectures again… bla bla bla.. “Don’t stop your car ar… if you must stop, stop in a foreman’s shop ar.. bla bla bla…”

I smiled. God is just so good. ;-) Bless this old couple, O Lord.